Self-care for a caregiver is not spa days and long retreats. It is small, realistic, repeatable things that fit into a life that is already full. The goal is sustainability, not perfection.
Start with a reset you can use in the moment. When you feel yourself snapping, try the 90-second reset. Breathe out longer than you breathe in (in for four, out for six to eight) a few times. Drop your shoulders and soften your face. Tell yourself: "This is the illness, not them, not me, and it will pass." If your person is safe, step out of the room for two minutes. Walking away to breathe is a skill, not a failure.
Then build small anchors into the day: a quiet coffee before they wake, a few minutes outside, a phone call with a friend, one thing that is just yours. These do not require large blocks of time. They require permission.
That permission comes from self-compassion, which is itself a protective skill. Speak to yourself the way you would speak to a dear friend doing this exact job. You would never call that friend a failure for being tired or losing patience. Do not say it to yourself.
Guilt-free self-care is not selfish. It is how you protect the steady, loving presence your person needs most.